Malfunction! Return of Sarcastic! Brainy
by Storm Arashi
Summary: Brainy has a malfunction and now acts quite a bit like a character from a twenty first century sitcom. He insults the boy Legionnaires calling them names. Humilliation, Girls names and kryptonite bullets.   What else?  Lightning Lad has a new nickname


Malfunction. Return of the sarcastic! Brainy.

_XXXXXXX_

The core members had gathered outside of Brainy's lab. They were worried.

The little Coluan had been in his room for days. "So what do you reckon it is this time?" Superman asked.

"Well Farm boy I reckon he's probably going nuts again." Lightning Lad grinned.

"I thought alignments happened every three years. Not every three months." Superman countered. Saturn Girl sighed.

"No Superman you see Brainy had a malfunction a few years ago. And well..." She sighed. It was difficult to explain without someone laughing their head off. "He started acting a bit like a character from an ancient show called Scrubs." She explained rubbing her temple. It was obvious Brainy had driven everyone crazy during that period of his life.

Supes winced. He had watched that show back in Smallville and had a guess of who Brainy was acting like. "Dr. Cox?" He asked though it was more of a statement.

Lightning Lad and Saturn Girl nodded. Timberwolf looked at them both confused.

Bouncy and Trips both face palmed at the memory.

If to curse them all Brainy stepped out of his lab looking...Cheerful? "Brainy...Are you alright?" Supes asked cautious.

Brainy _whistled_ and whirled around to smirk at Supes. "Weeeell of course I'm alright Julia!" He replied with an almost evil smirk. Supes felt himself dyeing a little at being called a girls name.

"Brainy did you forget to re-charge or download or something? Or I dunno sleep?" Lightning Lad crossed his arms getting in Brainy's way. He only grinned.

"No I didn't forget anything at all. But if you wanna play Nancy Drew go solve the case of the missing brain. By the way Margerate that brain is yours." Brainy laughed.

Supes and Timberwolf were afraid. Very afraid.

"Brainy cut it out already. We get it your smart." Bouncy said irritated.

Brainy only whistled. "You wise up Lassie." He said before walking off.

Timberwolf and Superman breathed a sigh of relief.

Hearing it Brainy smirked. "And to Judith-" He pointed at Timberwolf, "And Gloria I have no mercy for either of you pretty young ladies." With that he walked off.

Superman and Timberwolf growled.

Hours later.

"I get it I'm a moron. I didn't know they have meteor rock bullets." Supes grumbled as Brainy patched him up. Robbers had attacked the New Metropolis bank and had wielded guns with said kryptonite bullets. And frankly Brainy was scaring him with how angry he was.

"You sure are a moron. I'm the one with a twelfth level intelligence Jessica." Brainy insulted him complete with a girl name.

"Brainy really stop calling me by girls names. Its not funny...It wasn't even funny when you called Lightning Lad Margerate." He lied at the last part. It was hilarious.

"Sorry Rose-Mary I didn't hear you." Brainy was really getting on his nerves now.

His communicator buzzed at that moment. Checking his flight ring Bouncy's image appeared on it. "Supes grab Brainy and knock him out. We think we got a way to fix him and get him to stop calling us girls names and act normal." Supes wanted to scream the hallelujah chorus at that very moment.

"I'll be right there." He approached Brainy although he was cautious due to the stitchs placed on his arm from where a bullet had imbedded itself in his skin from his mission. Grabbing, Brainy he hesitated for a moment then when he was called Lillian he relented. He smacked Brainy's head against a nearby lab table and knocked him out.

When he arrived at the lab Brainy's old malfunctioned disc was removed and replaced with a back up. "Guys is it even a good idea to take out his original disc? I mean the back up-" Lightning Lad cut him off.

"Brainy promised us that we could if he ever did that again. He was humilliated the first time it happened."

When Brainy regained conciousness he was hugged by the girls. Then he looked apologetic. "I apologize for my actions and insults today. I didn't mean to act like that. Please forgive me." He pleaded.

"Who could stay mad at you?" Lightning Lad grinned. "Gloria." He added.

Brainy was confused. He didn't have too much experience dishing out revenge. "Excuse me?" He asked.

"You heard him Johanna." Supes added putting an arm around Brainy's shoulder.

"Really stop calling me women names." Brainy insisted.

"Awww is little Jasmine upset?"

Brainy transformed his arm into a cannon. "RUN FOR IT!"

Two years later...

Supes was going to check on Brainy. He had a deja-vu feeling remembering the incident of being called by women names.

Brainy however wolf whistled getting his attention. "HEY ANGELICA I NEED YOU TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH FROM MY LAB!" He shouted.

Supes facepalmed. "It's happening again..." He groaned.

Brainy smirked. He was kidding of course but it felt good to dish out his own revenge.

"Come on Delilah I haven't got all day!" 

END

Authors note: The inspiration was Brain Drain and rants I found on Youtube. If anyone asks yes Brainy was ment to get revenge two years later as a teenager. Just a random crack fict I came up with.


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